Friday, March 4, 2011

You See What You Want To See and Hear What You Want To Hear


Although many relationships are similar, they are all unique in there own way. 

Relationships are a fickled beast. From my own experiences and what I have observed is that romantic relationships are a popular subject that many females converse with their girlfriends- who better to turn to than your best friend? When you are experiencing tough times with the person you like or even love, you tend to resolve the conflict either by yourself or talking about the issue amongst your closest friends or family.  

A common issue that I have taken note of, is when someone who has invested themselves into a relationship, has a hard time seeing/hearing what's real versus what they want to see and/or hear.  I think we can all attest that we have gone through this. Perhaps, a friend/family has advised you about certain behaviors, which are suspicious or re-occurring actions that your partner displays. Or when you are infatuated with a person whom you like and you try to make them fit your standards.The prevailing reaction is to find an excuse, at any cost (usually these excuses sound highly improbable)- when you are placed that sort of situation, all logic goes out the door.  "Well, maybe he'll/she'll change" 

So, why is it hard to see things the way they really are in relationships? 

I believe its because we are bias when it comes to people we really care about. Facing the truth (when its not good) would hurt and sometimes leads us to the most obvious answer- that it's time to move on. And that is a daunting thought, especially if you have been with that person for a long time.  Here comes those thoughts of "what ifs" or "but just maybe with time" that linger in the back your mind.  

But having a fresh and an objective view (aka not being biased and looking at the facts) can save many, the grief that they put themselves through. Not saying taking your heart out of the equation, but be smart about your heart. Facing the truth, although hard to do, is very liberating. In the end, take the time from relationships you know are not meant to be, and give yourself the opportunity to grow and find that special someone who is right. It's your time, use it well!