Got Confidence?

"It's impossible," said Pride. "It's risky," said Experience. "It's pointless," said Reason. "Give it a try," whispered the Heart

At one point or another we have all lost our self confidence. There are many occurrences in life where your confidence is struck hard. Sometimes you overcome life's hardness, sometimes you get weighed down. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through it, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. I find that is especially true if you are used to success and then suddenly you fall short.

I recently got into a car accident and although I pride myself in being an excellent driver, I found myself feeling not so driver savvy as I once did. Throughout life, we all fall short. It may be from being a straight A student and suddenly you receive your first C, or perhaps you were the top salesmen for your company known for scoring deals, and a deal you were working so hard for fell through. Or perhaps you are a great public speaker and one of your speeches did not relate to your audience as well as you would have liked it to. The initial reaction is “What happened?!” or “Why did this happen?!”  Those what, why, how, questions really have a way to damper your self-confidence and feelings of doubt and inferiority arise.

So how can you regain that lost self-confidence? I look to looking at the brighter side of situations. It’s a big pill to swallow when things don’t go the way you expected them to. For example if you have been laid off, it’s natural to feel bad for a day or two but don’t let that feeling consume you. Perhaps being laid off (although terrible) might be a blessing in disguise. When things don’t go as expected it’s a great time to review your life or skills and become aware of areas that need improvement. These setbacks can be an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude.  

When we don’t get the results we expect it may lead you to think “Why me?” This notion most of the time can be a result of comparing yourself with other people. Perhaps you have been preparing yourself to deliver an important report to your boss and someone who came unprepared impressed your boss more. Stop comparing yourself with other people because this will only frustrate you further. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start. 


"Promise yourself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at you, that you will try as hard as you can to help yourself. You acknowledge that sometimes your efforts to help yourself may not result in success, as often being properly rewarded is not in your control" -- Raj Persaud

The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, but rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but anguish is voluntary. It's purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative. Remember that there is always a way to regain your lost self-confidence. You just have to look for it by pushing through your situation, however dark that path is because finding is reserved for those who search.